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The truth. ..

the truth is ; I am not a good person I have betrayed myself my family my friends. I Know my Karma will find me ; and I Know it won’t feel good.
I now see how with all of my best Calculations of how this might turn out this is one factor I did not Calculate for I did not see the,t coming. I am wrong in my sins no doubt and I Always Knew ‘id eventually pay the piper .
Maybe I am a horrible human being What really were my excuses ? what, I didn’t get what I wanted as a kid ? Not enough attentionnot enough MoraLs  values not enough self-esteem > what drives me to self-sabotage the way I do in the most excellent life I Wanted So badly with my wonderful husband Is everything not enough or too much ? Why do I wreck Myself ? why do I settle for less than value and then become upset When I Cannot adhere to my very own standards, Shame on me God please forgive me. I am still just a being of human flaws and All.

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