It’s funny how “out of sight out of mind”, really is possible. For example, when he went away on a family trip and we didn’t speak for a week, it was so easy, as I am sure it was for him too. I was so busy and preoccupied with many other distractions of my own. I thought for sure I was safe from the binding urges to call/message/or visit with him.
Upon his return, it was not long before contact was made, and I felt unenthused at first. However, a strange and uncomfortable appointment blew that out of the water. I found myself wanting to have his comfort more than anyone else’s. Let me back up a little and just say, I am not a needy person, I do not need the affections of others pretty much at all. Needless to say, I was bewildered at my very own desire to be comforted, especially by this individual. He is not anyone I would envision in that role. For me to feel the need to share in my weak moment the pain I was feeling makes me wonder, “why him”? I am the strong one, the one in charge, the authoritarian. Why would i crave the comfort of his company? It makes no sense, did I miss him, and not even know it? I did not want to do anything particular, I jut wanted to lay in his arms and smell him around me. Maybe even let me cry a little, maybe touch my hair, i don’t even know. Most of all I just wanted to sit in silence, and have him there. I didn’t want to talk, or anything else, just be there. So, Him, yes I think I missed Him!