Hubby will be plowing!

CBS Boston

[worldnow id=8450967 width=385 height=288 type=video]

BOSTON (CBS) – Snow-weary Boston businesses are bracing for a third consecutive weekend of losing money because of mother nature. Restaurants in the city are particularly hard hit. In the North End, the winter is typically slow to begin with, and when you factor in all the lost business from weekend after weekend of snow emergencies, it’s almost unbearable.

Rita Moran owns La Galleria 33 on Salem Street. They struggle to stay open during these storms.

“I really rely on the weekend business and the snow is really murdering it,” Moran explains. “It’s every weekend! Every weekend!” she continues. “It can’t snow on Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday? It has to do it on Friday, Saturday and Sunday!”

There are similar concerns over at Ned Devine’s in Faneuil Hall.

They had to shut down last Friday night and most of Saturday because workers could not safely…

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A Lifetime of Pain for a Lifetime Gift

A Lifetime of Pain for a Lifetime Gift

            I once received a gift so miraculous in size, now that I am a mother; I compare it with the birth of a child, ironically it was the loss of someone I love.

            My grandmother Nancy Ann Callahan, was married to my Grandfather who was an abusive alcoholic.  My grandmother lived through things many of us will never understand.  She delivered twin stillborn babies.  She lost a son to sudden infant death syndrome, and another to suicide. She divorced my grandfather, and began to drink herself when the kids were still young.  As to be expected, my mother and her siblings had a very rough childhood.

In her efforts to salvage her life, my grandmother got an education and went on to work at Bank of Boston. She wanted to have her three daughters and three grandchildren together she bought a house in Randolph and moved us all out of the city.  She transformed herself and became ta symbol of strength rather than a victim.  She was my hero, my protector, educator, my safety net, and I was her shadow.

My grandma, whom I called, “Gram-Cracker” loved her Pepsi over ice, her AKC books, Elvis Presley and Patsy Cline.  We would sit in her room and watch Elvis music and movies.  One memory is that of watching “Sweet Dreams”, depicting the tragic life of Patsy Cline.  I did not know it at the time but my grandmother and that story had many similarities.   One of my strongest memories was when we watched “Steel Magnolias”.   One message that movie had sent was that men are always thought to be the strong ones, made of steel, but when things are at the toughest, its women who find inner strength.  Women feel more and yet they are the ones who endure the fight when it comes down to it.  Her death proved it to be true; at least in my family and in my life.

In 1993 she was diagnosed with lung cancer, she tried treatment with chemotherapy and radiation but quickly gave it up.  We had hospice care and the women in the family took shifts caring for her.   I remember clearly the arguing over her food intake, the fuss over the difficulty of getting any meat off her skeletal arms to administer her medication for pain.  She had to switch to oral and eventually dermal medication.

When I was in her room one evening and she had asked me to pull a box out from under her bed.  I slid the flat box out and laid it up on her bed, she told me to open it and I did.  Inside the box was champagne colored satin dress. I still remember the dress; I wish I could see it again.  She instructed me to take it to the tailor and have it prepared for her passing.  I replied that she need not worry, and assured her she would be around to see my future.

We switched bedrooms because my room was on the main floor and was more accessible for the hospital furniture; so upstairs in her room I went for the remainder of her life.   I was never afraid of the way she looked, even when she was fading away, becoming weaker.  I held my grandmothers fragile hands in mine, I read to her, sang to her and kept her Patsy Cline tape playing at all times.

The day the gift happened my aunts and uncles and close relatives began making their way in, including my grandfather.  All of the men stood at the foot of her bed, the women on the side, touching her.  When I look back its so clear how the men responded compared to the women.

We all knew her chest could rise and fall and pause for a certain amount of time, then stop for up to a whole minute and rise again.  All the while, Patsy Cline is singing in the background, tears are falling, and the room seems to be closing in on her.  After her last breathe the tape of Patsy stopped, all of the men were the first to exit the room.  I stayed with my grandmother until the coroners came for her.  I wanted to be sure that if her spirit left her body after her last breathe, that I would be there.

Some people feel that the experience of death is so horrible; I felt it was a miracle.  I was there when she took her last breath, when she left this world and departed for a place better than what she had here.  Her life was painful, undoubtedly more painful than her death.

My grandmother’s departure was so significant, and relative to her cycle of life.  After all, wasn’t she right, even in the end, the men couldn’t handle the realities, the pains of the toughest things like grief and loss.   She showed that we as women could survive just about anything that comes our way.  My grandmother gave me the gift of her lifetime, and her departure.  The gift of life and death.

Daily Prompt: Nightmares Feb 19

Describe the last nightmare you remember having. What do you think it meant?Image

 

 

Describe the last nightmare I had???  Really, it’s the same nightmare, the only nightmare I have, and it’s again and again.

It all started 6 years ago when my husband proposed.  The fear of sharing my life, and risking hurt was so overwhelming that I stopped sleeping.  After the insomnia subsided, and I started to sleep again, I had reoccurring dreams that my then fiancé would die, cheat, or flirt right in my face and not even care.  Laughing in my face.  Its been torture for so long.  As of recent they have decreased in frequency and severity, however when I do dream, that is what it is; most of the time.

Thank God I realize that those nightmares are really my fears manifesting in my unconscious mind.

Far From Normal, Daily Prompt, “Pieces of Me”

Many of us think of our lives as boringly normal, while others live the high life. Take a step back, and take a look at your life as an outsider might. Now, tell us at least six unique, exciting, or just plain odd things about yourself.Image

Pieces of me, and you want 6.  I will try to keep it interesting, however I suspect I will not need to ry hard.

1.  I am an addict in recovery, 12 years clean and sober, I love both AA & NA, I do not care what others think about that.  I work a 12 Step lifestyle, and try to practice all those principles in my affairs.The 12 Steps we derived from AA and “adopted” by NA, and NA states its gratitude.  I am also a healing adult child.  Amen.

2.  I am a mother of two beautiful, wonderful young ladies 17 and 12, by no means perfect, but by all means loving.  They are my heart and soul.

3.  I am married for the third time, to the most wonderful man, I often question how he tolerates me and loves me the way he does….Unselfishly.

4.  I am a full-time Human Services Transfer student, I love school!

5.  I am a cheer mom, my girls are talented competitive cheerleaders (not sideline cheerleaders-huge difference), and they travel and train more than most athletes.  We travel from January-April all over the US attending competitions that have good enough competitiors to compete with.

6.  I am Dual-Diagnosis, so not only am I am addict, I also suffer additional mental illness.  As busy as my life my be, and as much as I smile and try to stay positive, somedays are very hard just to get out of bed.

 

I find none of those things very exciting, but to some of the women I know, one of those things alone is an exciting and dramatic story in itself.  More importantly, I am really the following 6 things.

1.  I love to hug my children which was tough since I had to train myself to hug.

2.  Most people don’t know my story and are quick to judge, I chuckle, I am wise beyond my time, far beyond.

3.  I never let rejection, adolescent violation, spousal abuse, or any other mishap that I did not deserve, allow me to victimize myself.  

4.  When I was a kid, I prayed to be kidnapped, even it meant being raped and murdered, just to feel relief from my own hell.

5.  I do believe that I fight on a daily basis to ry and not peretuate my mental problems onto my kids.

6.  Crying is very difficult for me, I prefer to smile and move on, no matter what. 

Just For Today…February 18

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The recovery partnership

“As long as I take it easy and make a commitment with my Higher Power to do the best I can, I know I will be taken care of today.”

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Many of us feel that our fundamental commitment in recovery is to our Higher Power. Knowing that we lack the power to stay clean and find recovery on our own, we enter into a partnership with a Power greater than we are. We make a commitment to live in the care of our Higher Power and, in return, our Higher Power guides us.

This partnership is vital to staying clean. Making it through the early days of recovery often feels like the hardest thing we’ve ever done. But the strength of our commitment to recovery and the power of God’s care is sufficient to carry us through, just for today.

Our part in this partnership is to do the very best we can each day, showing up for life and doing what’s put in front of us, applying the principles of recovery to the best of our ability. We promise to do the best we can—not to fake it, not to pretend to be superhuman, but simply to do the footwork of recovery. In fulfilling our part of the recovery partnership, we experience the care our Higher Power has provided us.

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Just for today: I will honor my commitment to a partnership with my Higher Power.

Today I will honor my partnership with my higher power by meeting with a sponsee that I work with, inviting God into our time together and doing some step work.  I always pray for my HP’s guidance when meeting with a sponsee so that I may guide them in His will and NOT my own.  I am a fallible human, no matter how good my intentions may be.

Daily Prompt: The Clock

Daily Prompt: The Clock

Write about anything you’d like. Somewhere in your post, include the sentence, “I heard the car door slam, and immediately looked at the clock.”

During the winter, my husbands construction company gears up the trucks with plows and supplements their income by sanding and plowing for the local towns.  I am very used to spending the time during snowy weather with my girls, bundled up at home.  I miss my husband terribly when he is out during ungodly hours in tretcherous weather for late night hours on end.  If I can and there is no “stay home” warnings, I like to bring him some soup, or food of some sort during his long cold night.

This most recent storm, Nemo; I was geared up to be on lock-down at home for a few days.  The storm was severe enough that no one was leaving home until he came home and plowed our own driveway.  Just in case he did stop in for food or warmth, I had laid a warm towel and his jammies close to the fireplace so they would be warm when he came home.  I also slept on the couch so I could hear him come in and serve him, baby him a little.  I would stay up as late as I could doing homework or blogging until eventually I would fall asleep right there on the couch.

For three nights in a row I did this, and soon enough, I heard the car door slam, and immediately looked at the clock.  Yes, it was morning and he was home, I sprung from the couch and ran to the door to see if it was him.  It most certainly was him, he was plugging in the diesel truck motor block to keep it from freezing over night.

Just seeing his face after that much time away made me fall in love all over again.

Kiss (The Daily Post)

Kiss (The Daily Post)

Used in my wedding DVD, felt as the most meaningful kiss to my future. Taken on the beach, while spending time as a family. I absolutely love this man and he means more to mean than I could ever describe. XOXOXOX