Just for today

April 20


“Addiction is a family disease, but we could only change ourselves.”

Many of us come from severely damaged families.  At times, the insanity that reigns among our relatives feels overwhelming.  Sometimes we feel like packing our bags and moving far, far away.

We pray that our family members will join us in recovery but, to our great sadness, this does not always happen.  Sometimes, despite our best efforts to carry the message, we find that we cannot help those we hold most dear.  Our group experience has taught us that, frequently, we are too close to our relatives to help them.  We learn it is better to leave them in our Higher Power’s care.

We have found that when we stop trying to settle the problems of family members, we give them the room they need to work things out in their own lives.  By reminding them that we are not able to solve their problems for them, we give ourselves the freedom to live our own lives.  We have faith that God will help our relatives.  Often, the best thing we can give our loved ones is the example of our own ongoing recovery.  For the sake of our family’s sanity and our own, we must let our relatives find their own ways to recover.


Just for today:  I will seek to work my own program and leave my family in the care of a Higher Power.

5 Life Lessons as Explained by My Cat

Originally posted on Gone Catawampus:

Be Awesome in Your Own Fur

1. Take Pride in Your Appearance

We are divine, noble, and gorgeous creatures by nature. Therefore, appearance is everything. Every chance you have, be sure to lick yourself to keep your fur in place and looking glossy. Bask in your glory on a windowsill and allow other people to admire your exquisiteness. Nap.

*Disclaimer: Cats have impossible standards of beauty. Do not attempt to live up to such. Focus on your natural beauty. Gone Catawampus does not recommend licking one’s self as a practice of cleanliness. Please use normal human methods. Thank you.

2. Know Your Comfort Zone

I don’t mean that you should hide under the bed all day. (Though it is useful when the evil vacuum is out.) Discover where that smell is coming from. Go see if you can climb that new bookshelf.  Figure out what is…

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Almost Over…. ramblings in the night.

Its funny how everything changes, yet it stays the same.  Year after year, the teams, the travel, the job, the schooling.  I am nearing the point of the year where ether will soon be a small taste of relief before I overwhelm myself once again in the fall.  Luckily (I hope) for me, my eldest graduates this year and moves on, and out.  That may or may not be one less kid pawing at my side, bleeding me of all I have on a daily basis.  Although she’s a great kid and I should be pleased with her, I worry too.  She’s not like me.  She is not equipped for this world.  She sees life like a small child, with no fear of whats to come, not a care in the world.  She’s not independent, she is not a fighter, and she is a suburban girl.The only greed she knows is her own.  She does not give credit to the fact that are those who are aware of their own greed and will stop at nothing to take from others.  I do not mean possessions, I am speaking of spirit, of innosence.  The natural and beautiful smile she carries, thinking the world is as kind as she is, as loving as she is.  I fear for her.  Her soul, her heart, the very fiber of what makes her who she is.  I don’t want to see her hardened with hate, fear, envy and self loathing.  Those are ugly things we learn along the way, while we are learning pain and mistakes.  When I was young the world was so ugly, I could only see the darkness, hopelessness.  However, that meant that it could only get better, and only if I chose better.  And that I did.  The world did not break me, it hardened me, it trained me, it taught me how to survive.  But I don’t want that for her, not like that.

In may everything changes as it does every season. The teams change, the school year closes, I will select carefully a new schedule as to not disrupt the lives of my girls.  I will struggle to maintain my grades and move on to a University, hopefully UMB.  I will struggle to keep up with young people who have not a thing to care for other than themselves.  No kids, no house, no job, no husband, mortgage, car payments, etc..  And I will be tired, exhausted.  I will cry and want to quit some nights.  But I won’t, I never do.  Everything worth having is worth fighting for.  Or it wouldn’t feel so good.  So I will continue school, get my assoc. move on to UMB, get my BA, and then just keep going until I am a respected professional in all of the fields I like.  Criminal Justice, Addictions, Social Services, Death With Dignity and more.  Little by little as I age I will leave my footprint on the world.  I will.

As for this short term stuff, I will focus on the family, send one off to school, the other still home for me to enjoy, until January when we start to travel again.  I will be overwhelmed, I will cry, but I will persevere.  I will, thats what I do.  Dear God give me strength, I may scream it in my head, but I will hold it all together, I have no choice.  I did not come this far to give up now.  For once in my life, I will finish what I have started.  And one day, I will look back at this, and I will say, I have done well.  And it was all worth ImageImage

What is really happening….

It’s been a really rough couple of days, just wishing and praying the pain goes away. Not often do I have some days like this, and the days like this I sure don’t miss.
Im blessed today as you can see, I am living and breathing, and just being me.
I am told that I must live life on life’s terms, without active addiction and news things to learn.
After all this time, and all I’ve overcome, this disease still effects me somehow through someone.
I have no control of the nouns in my life, yet I still let them cause me a small bit of strife.
I’ve not broken my time or commitment to self, I am fully aware, put it up on God’s shelf.
My attitudes my thinking whatever it may be, the problems I am choosing to tackle at sea.
My mountains, my valleys, and even my peaks, are optional battles that I choose for me.
I know I don’t have to appear at each and every fight, my battles are my choices, and lose them I might.
But don’t you be fooled, by my rant tonight, because I have shared this I’ll sleep good tonight.
I am but mere human and cant save the day, but clean and sober is my desire, just for today!

Gratitude speaks, when I share and when I care, Just For Today!

New Technology Used First In Mass. Helps Couples Get Pregnant


Great news

Originally posted on CBS Boston:

[worldnow id=9241191 width=385 height=288 type=video]

BOSTON (CBS) — Technology first used here in Massachusetts is helping couples have a greater chance of getting pregnant.

It’s called the Embryoscope and it is now starting to be used across the country.

Toni and Ryan Carlson were losing hope they would have a child. But now, Toni is pregnant and expecting to deliver in January.

Ryan said this is a combination of amazement and relief, while Toni welled up with tears of joy.

They’ve been dreaming of having a baby since they were married three years ago. Although they are both in their early 30′s with no medical problems, they still couldn’t get pregnant.

The fertility clinic they went to tried the Embryoscope.

This is a new age incubator that dramatically increases the success rate of fertility treatment.

The first seven successful pregnancies using the Embryoscope were achieved at the Fertility Centers of…

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